A couple of weeks ago when I was at Blissdom, I met Erin from Two Story Cottage. I had read her blog before (I love her DIY posts about her house renovations), and so it was quite a treat to meet her in person.
While we were talking, she mentioned that she was participating in a linky party to promote this fancy little number:
It’s a cute little rustic box that has 365 cards inside with quotes on them. Good tabletop conversation! Anyway, the linky party is being hosted by Love Feast Table. Erin was working with them, handing out the cards from the box, asking us bloggers to write a little post relating to the quote. They were hoping to get all 365 cards blogged about, and giving one of the boxes away to one of us too! (I love giveaways!!).
The quote I got was:
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
-Thomas Edison
I am certainly not a perfect mother. In fact, on most days, I am about as far from it as possible. I have a 6 month old who is just discovering that she has separation (from me!) issues. And a toddler who can’t decide whether she is a whiny three-year old, or a precocious thirteen year old (and often alternates between the two without any warning)! Needless to say, I have my hands full with these two. I read about these blogger mommies who have 4, 6, 8 kids….who eat fresh out of their lush gardens every night….who homeschool their kiddos….who still find time to blog about their craftiness with lovely photos. I don’t know how they do it!
So when I saw this quote amongst Erin’s choices at Blissdom, it immediately struck home with me. Some days I feel like I am stretched just a little too thin…trying to be perfect at everything. Jayna has always been mature for her age, and always extremely verbal. I can remember when she was just a one year old, and thinking how crazy it was that I could actually reason with her! When telling her to do (or not to do something), I could tell her why, and she would usually comply after a simple explanation. But now, she’s older. And even smarter. And yet she is harder to deal with. I can’t rationalize with her anymore….she’s too emotional. So, I have to get creative. Enter my 10,000 ways.
When Jayna is being unreasonable, defiant or whiny, my first instinct is to get annoyed. Or, if it’s been a really long day and I’m feeling particularly spread thin, my instinct is to get mad. And both of those emotions tend to be fruitless with my little bundle of joy…and usually end up with me completely upset and her on the floor in a full-out temper tantrum. Failure.
Attempt two: Trying to appeal to her immature side. Treat her like a baby. I’ll talk to her using baby talk, cradling her in my arms, etc. She usually falls for this one hardcore. Especially since Amelia was born and she has to fit the role of Big Sister all the time. Not only does this approach distract her from whatever meltdown she is on the verge of having, but she also craves the same type of attention Amelia constantly gets. So Jayna gets into her role as “Baby Jayna” by crawling around, making incoherent noises. The only problem with this strategy is that it is hard for Jayna to come out of the game…she will follow directions to a point, but it still takes forever for her to comply, and she wants to continue being “Baby Jayna” long after I’ve tired of it. Failure.
I even tried putting inanimate objects in time out. Sometimes that is less of a fight than putting her in time out for using something incorrectly. So for instance, when she was caught using crayons on the table, instead of on the paper, rather than risking a temper tantrum and putting her in time out, or just taking the crayons from her…I put the crayons in time out (in the corner!), and it drove my point home to her, without escalating the situation. The only problem with this is that I started finding all sorts of objects and toys in “time out” in various corners of my house for months after trying this! Failure.
So I am constantly trying new ways to solve daily issues. Almost all of them end up failing in the long run, but some of them work in the short-term. And that’s all that really matters….preserving my sanity (for now!)!! And I just have to remember that I don’t have to be perfect. It’s just a phase. Jayna is growing up healthy and emotionally stable despite her perfectly normal temper tantrums. And in the meantime, I’ll just keep finding ways that don’t work!
Check out some of the other quotes and posts on the linky party by clicking here:
Palmettos and Pigtails 